Happy Holidays!

Our outings have been, for the most part, free of problems. Even brief trips into the yard without a mask have been bearable, although around us folks are running their fireplaces and woodstoves.

There are holiday smells we love: evergreens and hot chocolate spring to mind. So do baking cookies, cinnamon and nutmeg, and eggnog.

Tonight, we're going to my father-in-law's to visit and give his gift, as he'll be busy with church activities tomorrow. We celebrated the winter solstice quietly at home, and will spend some time tomorrow afternoon with other friends. We'll be visiting, and I'll set up and give a brief tutorial to a new computer user who's getting a laptop.

We wish everyone peace and joy, and a safe holiday season.

Getting a haircut

It's time again for the quarterly shearing, as we refer our haircuts.

For several years, we had to get haircuts from friends because the chemicals used in most salons are overwhelming. Mostly, we wound up with moderately attractive and highly serviceable styles. Occasionally, we wore hats for a couple weeks until the worst was over.

That ended when Supercuts came to town. They don't do perms, and coloring is limited. Consequently, we only have to deal with the fragranced items. That means that we can get haircuts with a reduced chance of reaction.

We prepare to go there like we do to go anywhere. A prophylactic dose of cough syrup and inhaler in hand, we head in on a day when we're feeling well. If they're crazy busy, we skip it until another day. Early afternoons are best, especially when school is in session. We're usually in and out the door in less than an hour, at a reasonable price.

Exterior decorations

We have a HUGE aritifical wreath, complete with lights, that we hang from the peak of the garage. In years past, we've gotten help, but everyone is busy this year, so we tackled it ourselves.

There were several problems with this plan, starting with a fear of heights that includes ladders. The other major complication was that one of the neighbors upwind of us decided to burn green wood and wet leaves, creating a heavy smoky smell. That smell sent us back inside for the nebulizer, cough syrup, and masks.

Great, now my glasses are fogged up, and I have to stop on every rung to clear them. By the time I reached the top of the ladder, I gave up on keeping them completely clear and just started hauling the wreath up with a rope, using the top rung of the ladder for leverage. I have no idea how long it took, but I finally got the wreath on the hook. Then the rope wouldn't disengage. I came down the ladder, got scissors, climbed the ladder again, and finally cut the rope off the wreath.

It is way too windy today to finish the decorating, which consists of finding out why the lighted globes won't light and stringing colored lights along the sections of fence that face the road. Perhaps tomorrow, if I don't have jury duty.

Walmart again, plus jury duty

This trip to Walmart was much better. We were about two-thirds of the way through the store before I got too close to someone. It wasn't that the scent was displeasing; it was just too strong.

While I coughed, leaning over the cart for support, my sweetheart explained to folks who stopped to see whether they could help what was going on. I used my inhaler when I was able to get a breath, and then put the mask on. These aren't those white masks you can buy anywhere, but black and grey foam with an activated charcoal insert. Guaranteed to be good for two to three days in the most polluted city in this hemisphere, Mexico City. They are quite efficient, but again are uncomfortable and isolating. We joke that we look like junior storm troopers in training, and it scares the heck out of little kids.

Today, I was called in for my first day of jury duty. I am quite familiar with the local court buildings, since part of my job in child support was to build contempt cases against non-custodial parents who didn't pay as ordered. I took no chances this time, and put on the mask just before I got out of the car, and didn't remove it until I was back in the driver's seat.

It was a good thing I did. Although the jury assembly room is large, the chairs are very close to each other, and it was impossible to keep open space around me. The mask filtered the majority of irritants, but leaving the courtroom, one of the bailiffs was wearing something that took my breath and started a minor coughing attack that left me leaning on the wall for half a minute.

Thanksgiving

We had to make an unscheduled trip to Wilmington on Wednesday. Not fun. Fortunately, we weren't planning to cook on Thursday. My partner made dinner reservations for us and her father at a local restaurant. We arrived about 15 minutes early to find the lobby so packed it was nearly impossible to move.

While my partner went to find out what was going on, her father and I stood amid the herd and listened to people complaining about the wait. At 5:45 p.m., folks with 4 p.m. and later reservations were waiting to be seated. A large group of pushy, smelly men went by, and if my father-in-law hadn't been there to support me, I would have fallen down. I coughed very hard for two full minutes. My partner, less than 10 feet away speaking with the hostess, could not hear me over the noise of the crowd.

After being told by the hostess that it would probably be two hours before we would be seated, we left. I took a few moments in the car to use my nebulizer and catch my breath. We drove around until we found one of the smaller restaurants open. It wasn't crowded, but traffic was steady, and many of the people were there for the same reason we were.

Next year, we'll do take out from our favorite barbeque place so we don't have to worry about crowds and noise and the ever-present overly fragranced.

Out and about

It was a pleasant surprise yesterday to complete our errands without encountering anything that triggered a huge coughing fit. It's continued to be damp and cold so we are both coughing a little, but very few of those wracking coughs.

On Sunday, I finished removing the carpet from our front room, wearing a mask the entire time. On Monday, of course, I felt crummy. I feel a little better today, but it won't last since we have to return to Wilmington tomorrow. The whole situation is sad, and I bite my tongue a lot. It's not my place to speak my mind to the leech, and we're looking at helping our friend obtain guardianship for her sister. Once that decision is made, I'm sure I'll be able to speak my piece while we show him the door.

On the bright side, removing the carpet seems to have stopped the chronic cough my sweetheart had when sitting at her computer. It also brings us one step closer to our plan to remove all the carpeting and replace it with laminate or floating hardwood floors. Since we are still battling with the Social Security Administration, we are always close to the bone on budgeting. We'll get through, but it makes me ill to think how many people have been forced onto the street because SSA can't or won't get its act together.

Walmart

Like many folks, we have a love/hate relationship with Walmart, but we had to go there yesterday. We needed a few things that we can't find at any other local store, as did my 88-year-old father-in-law, for whom we shop regularly. Our Walmart is one with a grocery, so trips there are a multi-cart cart affair that span the entire store.

We were less than ten feet from our car when someone going by invaded our personal space with their fragrance. It stole the air from my lungs and doubled me over coughing. My partner offered me some support until I could recover enough to continue. It happened again just outside the door, and again just inside the door. Fortunately, there were benches there, and I was able to sit down and use my inhaler. We stayed there for several minutes while I recovered. I wonder how bad it would have been had I not taken a prophylactic dose of cough syrup about half an hour before we left home.

Fortunately, the rest of the trip was a little better. Unfortunately, once I get started coughing, it takes less irritant to start again. Somehow we made it through the store and finished our shopping. Stubbornness comes in handy sometimes.

We had a few stops after Walmart: My father-in-law's home to deliver his groceries; a grocery store that carries a few specific things we like; our bank; and to pick up something for dinner because neither of us felt like cooking. We also got some soup for today, which is another gray, windy day and sufficiently unpleasant that none of the animals are asking to go out. Even the cats have declared detente and divvied up the bed.

The weather

Winter has arrived in our neck of the woods. It's cold and windy, and because cold air tends to be drier, the humidity has dropped to 50%.

Weather plays a role in aggravating our symptoms. Before a thunderstorm, a higher than normal number of mold spores are released into the atmosphere. Learning that was one of those "click" moments. Since putting those pieces together - feeling the thunderstorm coming and getting short of breath - I've tried to pay more attention to what my body is telling me.

Hot, humid summer days are problematic, too. I'm still learning to take my time and do things slowly, and it's been seven and a half years since this started. It's another of those things that I have to consciously work to remember, like wearing a mask when working in the garden or cutting the grass.

At the doctor again

We had to return to our doctor today, and again folks in the waiting area assaulted us with their personal aroma bubbles, which extended well beyond three feet. It's especially annoying since everywhere in the office, on bright pink paper, are requests to be courteous to others in the office by limiting your application of fragrance. For the few minutes we waited, I coughed. A few minutes after getting called into the exam room, my cough abated.

I really don't understand why folks wear so much fragrance. It's easy enough to avoid, but instead, most folks just keep layering it on: soap, shampoo, conditioner, gel, mousse, cologne, aftershave, perfume, lotion, laundry detergent, and fabric softener. The cumulative effect is horrible, and multiplies with each addition. It's almost enough to make me never leave home.

A pleasant surprise

Yesterday, we took a friend to Wilmington, about 120 miles north of here, so she could take her much older sister to the doctor. Said sister has Alzheimer's, which has been progressing rapidly in the past six months.

Apart from the sister's house, which smells strongly of ammonia, there were no real problems. We didn't get skunked by anyone's personal aroma bubble. The traffic was annoying but manageable. It was a long day, though. We left at 9 a.m. and didn't get home until after 6 p.m.

Today is a recovery day. It was overcast and damp all day, and the rain has begun again. This weather makes us uncomfortable. It's a great excuse to stay curled up with a book and a cat.

It's always a surprise

Yesterday, we had the first hard frost in more than a month. I understand that wood is a less expensive fuel, and is easily available here where we've managed to save a few tracts of woods. Still, it means that my outdoor time is limited, even with a mask, on clear, cool days.

It's always a surprise to step outside, take a breath and start hacking. You think I'd be used to it after almost eight years, but it's always startling.

We had company most of yesterday, so I couldn't get to the computer. If you didn't know, yesterday was Veteran's Day in the United States and Armistice Day everywhere else, and marks the end of World War I.

My father-in-law is 88 and still lives on his own for the most part. He was in the South Pacific for the duration of World War II. He talks very little about it, and never about combat. He's told of trying to sleep in trenches with rats running over his face, and the confetti rain of money that followed the blasting of one of the volcanic caves. He has a Bronze Star, but it was years before I found out why. He's one of millions of decent guys who went out and did the right thing and somehow managed to come home and rebuild their lives. Millions more have been to battle and back since, and it's important that we never again make the mistake of confusing the warrior with the war.

"It's important not to confuse dissent with disloyalty." Edward R. Murrow

Even in the doctor's office

Today, we returned to our doctor's office because I've had an itchy rash that wasn't responding to anything we tried. We were lucky to find a parking place, but that's where it ended.

In the space next to us, a man was sitting in his vehicle, windows rolled down, smoking a cigar. I tried to hold my breath long enough to get what I needed from the back seat, but wasn't successful. Consequently, I was hacking like crazy when we entered the doctor's office.

They've seen me in this condition before. On more than one occasion I was taken from my job to the doctor's office instead of the emergency room. The cough is distressing, especially to those who haven't heard or seen it before.

I love my doctors. Shortly after they began treating me, they posted signs all over the place. On bright pink paper is a polite reminder that not everyone can tolerate fragrances and not to wear them in the office. Today, several people ignored that sign. The waiting room still had the aroma of someone long gone. I sat and waited for my appointment with my shirt pulled up to cover my nose and mouth. The nurse said that several patients had on strong perfume.

So I saw one of the two doctors in the practice and was given steroids to settle down the itching. The shot sure hurt enough to take my mind off the itch.

Why can I smell your car from six feet away?

We had a balmy autumn morning, and I went to run a few errands. In the course of my travels, I got skunked twice by automobiles. The "air freshener" was so strong that I had to roll up the windows and hit the rescue inhaler.

You carry that smell with you when you exit your car. It permeates your clothes, and even if you didn't put on any scent today, you smell like you did. A little goes a long way, so try to cut back.

Skunked

Today, we had to go out for another doctor appointment. Afterward, we delivered our absentee ballots to the Board of Elections and headed off to do some grocery shopping.

When someone wears so much fragrance that it chokes us, we refer to it as being skunked because it's a similar experience. If you've never been around a skunk who's sprayed, the odor is very intense in a limited area, just like the overly perfumed folks who wander our world.

The first episode occurred outside the Board of Elections. I walked past a parked car on the way in, and its windows were up. When I came out, that same car's windows were wide open, and the driver's cologne/aftershave - probably Canoe - sent me into a convulsive coughing attack, although I was two and a half or three feet from the window. Back in the car, I took a few minutes to use my rescue inhaler and compose myself before we set off again.

The first grocery store was fine. There were a few folks wearing too much scent, but we were able to avoid them. Outside, loading our groceries into the vehicle, we were downwind of a woman who smoked a cigarette while talking on the phone. She paced the sidewalk at our vehicle rather than moving out of the flow of traffic. Again, I got in the car, and had to take a few minutes to catch my breath before proceeding.

The third time occurred at our final stop for the day, the second grocery store to get things the first doesn't carry. As we walked in, a man walked out. His personal scent cloud made me cough even harder. I spent about three minutes recovering before we could get moving. Fortunately, we caught a lull in the store traffic, so were able to finish without further incident.

It's really difficult to know what to do. As I've said before, masks are uncomfortable and socially isolating. They also aren't needed all the time, but we get virtually no warning before being engulfed. The lighter weight masks do little to block overwhelming scents. The heavier weight ones are spectacularly unattractive - one looks like a storm trooper in training in it - and more uncomfortable.

A trip to the pharmacy

I had to see the doctor yesterday. She gave me a prescription, but I felt too crummy to sit around the pharmacy and wait, so we went home.

This afternoon, my partner and I went to our pharmacy to get the new prescription filled and pick up a refill of cough syrup. While we were wandering around the aisles waiting for the prescription to be filled, a woman went by, leaving her personal aroma trail many feet in her wake. My partner got a whiff and commented on how strong the smell was, and had to hit her rescue inhaler. The woman heard her. Normally, just one of those things.

Except that when I went to the back to wait for my prescription, I couldn't be in the waiting area because of the woman's scent. I looked at her, and she lost her mind. Started yelling about people being rude to her. When I pointed out that our problem was that her fragrance was making us ill, she basically said "everybody else does it." She wouldn't shut up, nor would she lower her volume. A male came out of one of the employee areas to stand between us because the woman kept getting louder and closer. The closer she got, the further my partner had to back up, and that seemed to encourage her verbal escalation.

We're regular customers at this pharmacy, and by regular, I mean it is rare when there's a week that we don't have to purchase prescription medications. When the harridan finished her rant, I told one of the clerks running interference that all I wanted was my prescriptions so I could go back home. She got the pharmacist to finish my order, and took my prescriptions to the other end of the store to check me out. The clerk apologized. Several other employees apologized. Not their fault, I told them, gathered our things, and left.

It was surreal, or maybe the it's the fever. All that woman could do was shriek and jab her index finger toward us and call us, "you people." On the ride home, we debated which class of "you people" we are.

As long as it isn't hers, I figure it's all good.

The month winds down

The grocery store wasn't bad, except for the laundry detergent aisle. It was a pleasant surprise to find the store nearly empty, so we were able to get in and out quickly.

Since then, things haven't been nearly as fun. Between the weather - damp and cool in contradiction to weather forecasts saying clear and cool - and being out and around, it's a constant struggle to keep breathing without bringing up a lung.

One thing that's really hard to deal with are things that I love. The smell of seasoned hardwood smoke from a fireplace is common in our still primarily rural area. It also makes me start hacking. Like other things over which I have no control, it is truly frustrating to be made housebound by the daily activities of those upwind.

On the less pleasant side of the odor chart are chicken houses and fields covered with freshly spread chicken manure. Manure is a polite word for the waste removed from chicken houses after the animals are captured and sent off to the land of Styrofoam® and plastic, and includes dead chickens and parts of dead chickens, as well as highly concentrated ammonia from urine and the ever popular feces. Being forced inside by that is much easier for me to understand and deal with than the neighbors using fabric softener or dryer sheets whose odor carries for more than a mile.

Just another day

We have two acres of fenced property, greatly enjoyed by our animals. Tuesday was nice, so I cleared the obvious obstacles, donned my mask, and mowed the front acre. I'm hoping it's the last tme this season, but I doubt it.

I'm noticing more and more people wearing masks when they mow. We live in a rural area, and folks on their riding mowers with an inexpensive mask are becoming a common sight. It's about 10-20 percent of the homeowners I see. Professional landscapers, on the other hand, wear safety glasses and hearing protection. I don't think I've seen any wearing respiratory protection.

Our task today is grocery shopping for my partner's father. He's a great guy, 88 and still living on his own. We do his grocery shopping because he won't drive any more and has difficulty walking. We also discovered that it goes a lot quicker if we do it alone, because he stops to chat with anyone and everyone.

I'll have a mask with me, and will take prophylactic cough syrup before we leave. If we're lucky, the store won't be busy, and we shouldn't have any problem apart from the laundry detergent aisle. I'll let you know.

There are natural scents that bother us, and we have to work around them, too. There is a bush in our front yard that is blooming now. The service berry has a wonderful aroma, but it bothers both of us, and will be relocated to a more remote part of the yard.

Rotting leaves and straw are full of aspergillus niger, which helps them break down and which played a large part in totalling my health. A. niger is the smelly black mold that grows after water damage. It wreaked havoc on my breathing and memory, and if you see it, RUN THE OTHER WAY!

We wear masks to mow the lawn and many outside tasks. We don't like masks. At best, they are hot and uncomfortable. Worn anyplace where people are, like a store, they are socially isolating. People assume the mask is to protect them from us, and treat us accordingly.

Welcome to my life

My partner and I both suffer from chronic respiratory problems that are exacerbated by scents. We're the people you see in public wearing masks because how you smell makes us sick. Literally.

You can call it whatever you want - perfume, cologne, toilet water, aftershave, etc. - but fragrances are the bane of our existence. Most people don't have a clue as to how they smell to us. Some don't care. We frequently wonder what people are trying to cover up by wearing enough scent to create a personal aroma zone six feet in diameter with a 10 foot or longer trail.

Add to that the odors in stores and shops from candles, air fresheners, and commercial cleaning products - what is used to clean entry rugs where we live is particularly bad - and you can begin to understand why we hate to leave our home.

Some days, we cannot leave the house because of the air quality. When neighbors upwind do laundry, the scent of the fabric softener or dryer sheet from the dryer vent sends us inside behind closed windows and doors. When neighbors use their fireplaces or burn leaves, we must go inside and close up the house. The Dismal Swamp in Virginia, 150 or so miles south of us, was on fire this summer, and we were forced indoors for more than a week.

We didn't ask for this, and wouldn't wish it on anyone. My partner was diagnosed with asthma at the age of five, and somehow survived the medical profession's ignorance. She is one of the first generation to survive her very severe childhood asthma, treated throughout her 1950s childhood with four shots of adrenaline and penicillin daily. My breathing problems are the result of working at ground zero in a sick building. Our lives were blown apart by it and we were lucky to survive. More on that later.