Thanksgiving

We had to make an unscheduled trip to Wilmington on Wednesday. Not fun. Fortunately, we weren't planning to cook on Thursday. My partner made dinner reservations for us and her father at a local restaurant. We arrived about 15 minutes early to find the lobby so packed it was nearly impossible to move.

While my partner went to find out what was going on, her father and I stood amid the herd and listened to people complaining about the wait. At 5:45 p.m., folks with 4 p.m. and later reservations were waiting to be seated. A large group of pushy, smelly men went by, and if my father-in-law hadn't been there to support me, I would have fallen down. I coughed very hard for two full minutes. My partner, less than 10 feet away speaking with the hostess, could not hear me over the noise of the crowd.

After being told by the hostess that it would probably be two hours before we would be seated, we left. I took a few moments in the car to use my nebulizer and catch my breath. We drove around until we found one of the smaller restaurants open. It wasn't crowded, but traffic was steady, and many of the people were there for the same reason we were.

Next year, we'll do take out from our favorite barbeque place so we don't have to worry about crowds and noise and the ever-present overly fragranced.

Out and about

It was a pleasant surprise yesterday to complete our errands without encountering anything that triggered a huge coughing fit. It's continued to be damp and cold so we are both coughing a little, but very few of those wracking coughs.

On Sunday, I finished removing the carpet from our front room, wearing a mask the entire time. On Monday, of course, I felt crummy. I feel a little better today, but it won't last since we have to return to Wilmington tomorrow. The whole situation is sad, and I bite my tongue a lot. It's not my place to speak my mind to the leech, and we're looking at helping our friend obtain guardianship for her sister. Once that decision is made, I'm sure I'll be able to speak my piece while we show him the door.

On the bright side, removing the carpet seems to have stopped the chronic cough my sweetheart had when sitting at her computer. It also brings us one step closer to our plan to remove all the carpeting and replace it with laminate or floating hardwood floors. Since we are still battling with the Social Security Administration, we are always close to the bone on budgeting. We'll get through, but it makes me ill to think how many people have been forced onto the street because SSA can't or won't get its act together.

Walmart

Like many folks, we have a love/hate relationship with Walmart, but we had to go there yesterday. We needed a few things that we can't find at any other local store, as did my 88-year-old father-in-law, for whom we shop regularly. Our Walmart is one with a grocery, so trips there are a multi-cart cart affair that span the entire store.

We were less than ten feet from our car when someone going by invaded our personal space with their fragrance. It stole the air from my lungs and doubled me over coughing. My partner offered me some support until I could recover enough to continue. It happened again just outside the door, and again just inside the door. Fortunately, there were benches there, and I was able to sit down and use my inhaler. We stayed there for several minutes while I recovered. I wonder how bad it would have been had I not taken a prophylactic dose of cough syrup about half an hour before we left home.

Fortunately, the rest of the trip was a little better. Unfortunately, once I get started coughing, it takes less irritant to start again. Somehow we made it through the store and finished our shopping. Stubbornness comes in handy sometimes.

We had a few stops after Walmart: My father-in-law's home to deliver his groceries; a grocery store that carries a few specific things we like; our bank; and to pick up something for dinner because neither of us felt like cooking. We also got some soup for today, which is another gray, windy day and sufficiently unpleasant that none of the animals are asking to go out. Even the cats have declared detente and divvied up the bed.

The weather

Winter has arrived in our neck of the woods. It's cold and windy, and because cold air tends to be drier, the humidity has dropped to 50%.

Weather plays a role in aggravating our symptoms. Before a thunderstorm, a higher than normal number of mold spores are released into the atmosphere. Learning that was one of those "click" moments. Since putting those pieces together - feeling the thunderstorm coming and getting short of breath - I've tried to pay more attention to what my body is telling me.

Hot, humid summer days are problematic, too. I'm still learning to take my time and do things slowly, and it's been seven and a half years since this started. It's another of those things that I have to consciously work to remember, like wearing a mask when working in the garden or cutting the grass.

At the doctor again

We had to return to our doctor today, and again folks in the waiting area assaulted us with their personal aroma bubbles, which extended well beyond three feet. It's especially annoying since everywhere in the office, on bright pink paper, are requests to be courteous to others in the office by limiting your application of fragrance. For the few minutes we waited, I coughed. A few minutes after getting called into the exam room, my cough abated.

I really don't understand why folks wear so much fragrance. It's easy enough to avoid, but instead, most folks just keep layering it on: soap, shampoo, conditioner, gel, mousse, cologne, aftershave, perfume, lotion, laundry detergent, and fabric softener. The cumulative effect is horrible, and multiplies with each addition. It's almost enough to make me never leave home.

A pleasant surprise

Yesterday, we took a friend to Wilmington, about 120 miles north of here, so she could take her much older sister to the doctor. Said sister has Alzheimer's, which has been progressing rapidly in the past six months.

Apart from the sister's house, which smells strongly of ammonia, there were no real problems. We didn't get skunked by anyone's personal aroma bubble. The traffic was annoying but manageable. It was a long day, though. We left at 9 a.m. and didn't get home until after 6 p.m.

Today is a recovery day. It was overcast and damp all day, and the rain has begun again. This weather makes us uncomfortable. It's a great excuse to stay curled up with a book and a cat.

It's always a surprise

Yesterday, we had the first hard frost in more than a month. I understand that wood is a less expensive fuel, and is easily available here where we've managed to save a few tracts of woods. Still, it means that my outdoor time is limited, even with a mask, on clear, cool days.

It's always a surprise to step outside, take a breath and start hacking. You think I'd be used to it after almost eight years, but it's always startling.

We had company most of yesterday, so I couldn't get to the computer. If you didn't know, yesterday was Veteran's Day in the United States and Armistice Day everywhere else, and marks the end of World War I.

My father-in-law is 88 and still lives on his own for the most part. He was in the South Pacific for the duration of World War II. He talks very little about it, and never about combat. He's told of trying to sleep in trenches with rats running over his face, and the confetti rain of money that followed the blasting of one of the volcanic caves. He has a Bronze Star, but it was years before I found out why. He's one of millions of decent guys who went out and did the right thing and somehow managed to come home and rebuild their lives. Millions more have been to battle and back since, and it's important that we never again make the mistake of confusing the warrior with the war.

"It's important not to confuse dissent with disloyalty." Edward R. Murrow

Even in the doctor's office

Today, we returned to our doctor's office because I've had an itchy rash that wasn't responding to anything we tried. We were lucky to find a parking place, but that's where it ended.

In the space next to us, a man was sitting in his vehicle, windows rolled down, smoking a cigar. I tried to hold my breath long enough to get what I needed from the back seat, but wasn't successful. Consequently, I was hacking like crazy when we entered the doctor's office.

They've seen me in this condition before. On more than one occasion I was taken from my job to the doctor's office instead of the emergency room. The cough is distressing, especially to those who haven't heard or seen it before.

I love my doctors. Shortly after they began treating me, they posted signs all over the place. On bright pink paper is a polite reminder that not everyone can tolerate fragrances and not to wear them in the office. Today, several people ignored that sign. The waiting room still had the aroma of someone long gone. I sat and waited for my appointment with my shirt pulled up to cover my nose and mouth. The nurse said that several patients had on strong perfume.

So I saw one of the two doctors in the practice and was given steroids to settle down the itching. The shot sure hurt enough to take my mind off the itch.

Why can I smell your car from six feet away?

We had a balmy autumn morning, and I went to run a few errands. In the course of my travels, I got skunked twice by automobiles. The "air freshener" was so strong that I had to roll up the windows and hit the rescue inhaler.

You carry that smell with you when you exit your car. It permeates your clothes, and even if you didn't put on any scent today, you smell like you did. A little goes a long way, so try to cut back.

Skunked

Today, we had to go out for another doctor appointment. Afterward, we delivered our absentee ballots to the Board of Elections and headed off to do some grocery shopping.

When someone wears so much fragrance that it chokes us, we refer to it as being skunked because it's a similar experience. If you've never been around a skunk who's sprayed, the odor is very intense in a limited area, just like the overly perfumed folks who wander our world.

The first episode occurred outside the Board of Elections. I walked past a parked car on the way in, and its windows were up. When I came out, that same car's windows were wide open, and the driver's cologne/aftershave - probably Canoe - sent me into a convulsive coughing attack, although I was two and a half or three feet from the window. Back in the car, I took a few minutes to use my rescue inhaler and compose myself before we set off again.

The first grocery store was fine. There were a few folks wearing too much scent, but we were able to avoid them. Outside, loading our groceries into the vehicle, we were downwind of a woman who smoked a cigarette while talking on the phone. She paced the sidewalk at our vehicle rather than moving out of the flow of traffic. Again, I got in the car, and had to take a few minutes to catch my breath before proceeding.

The third time occurred at our final stop for the day, the second grocery store to get things the first doesn't carry. As we walked in, a man walked out. His personal scent cloud made me cough even harder. I spent about three minutes recovering before we could get moving. Fortunately, we caught a lull in the store traffic, so were able to finish without further incident.

It's really difficult to know what to do. As I've said before, masks are uncomfortable and socially isolating. They also aren't needed all the time, but we get virtually no warning before being engulfed. The lighter weight masks do little to block overwhelming scents. The heavier weight ones are spectacularly unattractive - one looks like a storm trooper in training in it - and more uncomfortable.